"Hmm. Let's devote an entire month to....eating cakes."
"I like it, but let's make it two months. And let's cover the cakes in candy."
"Done, as long as we can serve a toy along with the cakes.""We'll put the toys inside the cakes. But what about when cake season is over? Won't that be a let down?"
"Good point. So....let's get completely drunk on the last night of candy-cake season."
"Ok, well, I'll be honest. I was thinking more like a week of drinking. I mean, health-wrecking, life-shortening maniac binge drinking, that volume of drinking. And you know what? Let's dress up like fucking lunatic clowns while we're at it and wantonly expose ourselves to strangers."
"Done and done. This is making more sense all the time."
"Yeah, I feel good about these plans. God is going to be very pleased with our city and bless it with long life and extraordinary health."
Never been to Mardis Gras, and I understand the hubbub, but I just cannot bring myself to eat foods that color.
ReplyDeleteThat's why you need a Whole Foods king cake. Right, Kaitlin? You out there?
ReplyDeleteBenji,
ReplyDeleteBecause you've never lived in New Orleans during Mardi Gras, I will forgive you for getting ALL of the following information (and, subsequently, everything else in the world) wrong.
The corrected sentence reads:
Let's dress up like fucking lunatic clowns while we're at it and wantonly expose ourselves to strangers FOR BEAD NECKLACES--LOTS AND LOTS OF BEAD NECKLACES!
Jesus. It's not like we do this shit for fun, Benji. There is a reward for sacrificing our jobs and free time to the holiest day of the Christian calendar. And you know what? It's better than money.
It's bead necklaces.
Maybe this will be the year that they toss corn dogs from all the floats instead of beads. I am hoping.
ReplyDeleteman, i always thought king cakes were boring until i received the most delicious cream cheese king cake in the mail from my good friend on the web and IRL, samtron77e!
ReplyDeleteMr. Samtron77e wants me to tell everyone his theory that the colors on the Whole Foods king cake are artificially dull in order to signify its healthiness. They also use whole wheat flour, for whatever its worth.
ReplyDeleteI am partial to the Dorignac's king cake, myself, because there is a typo on the box!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh man that looks way better then Barnbrack Cake. Plus, you mean EVERYBODY get toys?! Can I come visit?
ReplyDeleteBarnbrack Cake? Not sure what that is, but it sure sounds like some bland culinary farce of New England stoicism and restraint. One cup ground oyster crackers, one cup unmilled barley groats, and four ounces soured buttermilk. Eat silently in a frigid barn with Robert Frost.
ReplyDelete