Negligible skills. Dwindling cash reserves. Clownish diploma. Swollen sense of self-pity. Perennially unmotivated. Lazy. Amoral. Capricious. Contemptuous. Lugubrious. Short.
Six weeks ago I was fired. The weeks since have been occupied mostly by eating and rationalizing. But now it is 2011, a New Year and the opportunities are boundless. Shall I be surgeon, astronaut, judge, or supermodel priest? Senator, architect, or Church's Chicken employee? Which role shall I choose? Into what managerial heart will I strike sufficient pity? What's going to happen to me?
It is a heady time.
It is a crappy time.
It is an Adult time. Let's go.
i don't get it. where's the like button? click it on that dog for me.
ReplyDeleteOh, you mean Monday's edition of my Murder-a-Dog-a-Day program?
ReplyDeleteI love this photo of you and Khaya; she is amazing.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, by the way, you are only one of the smartest/likable persons I've ever known. And you're living in an extremely interesting and unique town at what I think is a very interesting and unique time. Goddamnit Benji, something needs to give down there and you need to start kicking some ass. You're the man for the big job. I'm not sure WHICH job, but you're definitely the man. I'm sure of it.
-matt white
After seeing this picture, MODELING is the only solution.
ReplyDeleteNice tie!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I am trying to figure out whose ass I need to be kicking, but so far no luck. Also, here's an abridged list of a few things I've recently seen Khaya run away from in abject terror: bicycle, Slinky, folding chair. Nonetheless, she is a great dog.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I found another craigslist ad recently that was searching for "trendy looking young people" for extras in a bar scene, but the picture I sent them apparently did not make the cut. No response, but maybe a professional modeling agency would better recognize my talents.
Thank you. It is a pretty good one, but it is one of those ties where the knot always seems too bulky no matter where you tie it. Do you know what I mean?
yeah. i know exactly what you mean.
ReplyDeleteI think you should work on being taller. I feel that, if you were taller, all of the other adjectives would imporve.
ReplyDeleteThe word "lugubrious" was intended to be a nod to you.
ReplyDelete