Tuesday, September 25, 2012

My proudest moment in all my dealings with New Orleans youth

I just got back from an evening run. It was dusk when I left the house and almost entirely dark by the time I was back in my neighborhood. I was about four blocks from home when I rounded a corner to encounter a porchful of kids, ages maybe 10 to 14. As I came running by the stairs, the largest teenager, a pear-shaped boy silhouetted against the streetlight, flung a pointed hand towards the ground at my feet and screamed "WATCH OUT FOR THAT DIIIICK!!"

I skidded to a halt and they all burst out with laughter. "Yep, you got me," I said. Reveling in the hilarity he had unleashed, the large boy walked a circle about the sidewalk, clapping his hands and guffawing to himself. I looked at him and he looked me in the eye and spit on the ground. The laughter continued. I kept standing there, not knowing what to say but unwilling to end it like this.

"Don't mind him, he just don't have home training," a girl told me as the laughter died down. Something was going to have to happen soon. I decided on reconcilliation and wordlessly approached him with my hand extended. I guess I moved towards him too quickly, because he said "WHOA!" and began backing away. Seizing the opportunity, I suddenly broke into a full sprint. He shouted "WHOAAAA!" and turned and ran as the rest of the kids began shrieking with laughter again. I chased him for a good four or five seconds, including a full 360 around a parked car, then continued running down the street without breaking stride. The rest of the kids were still laughing by the time I was on the next block.

It is true that by far the funniest part of this story is the phrase "watch out for that dick!" -- the kid is a genius -- but I still feel like I came out narrowly on top.
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5 comments:

  1. alexSeptember 25, 2012 at 11:38 PM

    there's a group of kids that i ran past a few times here that would all stop what they were doing when they would see me and yell out encouraging things like "keep going" and "you can do it!" i always gave them a thumbs up and kept going, but then after a few time i changed the route so that i wouldn't pass them because it made me feel awkward. then i stopped running completely because running is hard and i'm a fat sack of shit that doesn't deserve love or success.

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  2. alexSeptember 25, 2012 at 11:40 PM

    what i'm saying is that you should move to my neighborhood so that you won't feel the need to chase strange children around in your jogging shorts

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  3. samtron77eSeptember 26, 2012 at 12:00 AM

    Well, your anecdote is certainly more appealing than mine. Maybe we should exchange children. I think it would increase national unity if there were interstate student exchange quotas mandatory across the cultural regions of the United States. The school systems should swap 15,000 students apiece.

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  4. storiesforhumansSeptember 26, 2012 at 2:29 PM

    I liked this story very much.

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  5. UnknownNovember 7, 2012 at 3:56 PM

    Is the Pastor in that photo the pear shaped boy you chased? Or the Dick you were warned about? Hope we cross paths again soon. Scooot and I might be headed to AR in January if "the" ranch allows it.

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